


Procrastination

by Noxsora



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Heart and Brain|ugly yeti, I dream about doing homework, If you hate yourself so much, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pesterlog, Self-Hatred, The most borring subconscious ever, This is me, Why don't you hate marry yourself, XKCD:Estimating Time, a dream I had last night, also, bifuricated mind, internal dialog, procrastination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 16:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10194350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noxsora/pseuds/Noxsora
Summary: A pro, or con, of having a bifurcated mind is that you can never agree on anything. You try cajoling, begging, reasoning. But really the only way to get anything done is to guilt trip your self into doing it. Because you make yourself more miserable not doing the thing then the misery of doing it. But then you spend so long self-flagellating that you get all miserable before you even start.AKA Sollux didn't get any work done today.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. This is Kinda my first fic. My actual first fic was the birth of my OC. I thought I wasn't a good enough writer to write fan-fic. Then I notice that not every fan fic is good (A shocker, I know), I thought I would contribute to the fan-fic community by writing bad fan-fic, cause 1 mans junk is another mans treasure and all that jazz  
> Also there is a 20% chance that I will write something else before the end of the month

Last night II had a dream that… 

You are sitting at your computer. You have all these pretty diagrams of what you are going to do. You have to read ***this*** then follow ***those*** instructions then remember ***that other thing*** so you can work out ***problems***.

Your brain goes in silly circles for a while.

(Prospit)"bleh, work. do not want."

(Derse)"no duh, iit'2 work"

(Prospit)"u2ele22, can't do anythiing, why bother"

(Prospit & Derse, sing song) "we all got two diie 2ome tiime"

(Derse) "ye2 II know, but mopiing about iit doe2n't make iit any le22 true!"

(Prospit) "but. what doe2 iit even matter? nothiing matter2 becau2e II'm u2ele22 and can't do anythiing. 2o why try? Not tryiing ii2 ***ea2y*** and complaiiniing ii2 ***fun*** "

(Derse) "you know what'2 u2ele22 and can't do anythiing riight? YOU iif you keep beiing u2ele22 and not doiing anythiing riight. ab2olutely correct, iinfalliible logiic there. ii know cau2e ii'm the 2mart one"

"nothiing anyone doe2 ever matter2. you don't do work becau2e iit matter2.

Work mean2 "the thiing you have two do becau2e iif you don't you are worthle22 puddle of refu2e .

2tiinkiing up the whole neiighborhood ***iimpo2iing*** your 2elf on the poor 2od2 who 2tep iin yucky wet and rottiing refu2e". you can't ***iimpo2e*** on people! you can't do that to them!"

(Prospit)"complaiiniing ii2 much le22 fun when you do iit. you're makiing me feel all yucky"

(Derse)"or maybe you haven't eaten any real food iin" looks at clock

"iit'2 been 13 hour2, and all II got two 2how for iit ii2 long a22 to do lii2t"

(Derse) "u2ele22 u2ele22 u2ele22! ii could have done ***2omethiing*** iin 13 hour2!"

(Prospit)"2o ii can giive up now?"

(Derse) "the two do lii2t! the two do lii2t! the 2chedule. everythiing ii2 ***planned*** and iit ii2 perfect! no work today mean2 more work ***tomorrow*** and ii can't do any more II can't!" 

(Prospit)"you know 2ome thiing2 fall through the crack2, ju2t let them fall wiithout 2crabbliing at the 2iide walk tryiing two get them back"

(Derse) "no, they have not "fallen through the crack2" becau2e TWO DAY AIINT OVER YET".

(Prospit) "ha ha, no".

(Derse) "watch me!".

You indignantly open up a file to start reading. The letters are fuzzy and you forget what you read before you even fiiniish the sentence. 

(Prospit) "wow, you really can't read wiithout me" 

(Derse) "maybe ii can't, but you can hear ju2t a2 well a2 ii can"

Grimly you read the file out loud, double checking that there is somethiing stored of the content. Then you start humming Fall Out Boy. 

You hit your head on your desk until you stop. 

(Derse)"2tupiid 2tupiid 2tupiid."

(Prospit) "ii'm bad behaviior but ii do iit iin the be2t way"

(Derse) "2o unfaiir"

(Prospit) "ii'm the watcher watcher"

(Derse) "but wooork"

(Prospit) "of the eternal flame"

(Prospit) "ii'm the guard dog, of all your fever dream2. Oh oh oh ii try to piicture me wiith out you but ii can't."

(Derse) "ii wonder why."

(Prospit) "cau2e we could be iimmortal. iimmortal."

You start hitting your head to the beat. 

(Derse) "why are you 2uch an iidiiot?"

(Prospit) "iit'2 my job, and ii liike iit fiine. no one ha2 a better job than miine"

(Derse) "no! That ii2 liiterally the only liine we know from that 2ong!"

(Prospit) "iit'2 my job, and ii liike iit fiine. no one ha2 a better job than miine"

(Derse) "2o not faiir"

(Prospit) "iit'2 my job, and ii liike iit fiine. no one ha2 a better job than miine"

(Derse) "you actually liike fall out boy"

(Prospit) "iit'2 my job, and ii liike iit fiine. no one ha2 a better job than miine"

(Derse) ii actually liike fall out boy"

(Prospit) "put on your war paiint"

(Derse) "thank you"

You continue hitting your head, while stewing in self loathing and Fall Out Boy. Until someone yanks on your hair, preventing you from hitting your head on the desk. You look up to see such a pretty girl with so much hair. 

(Prospit) "aa..."

(Derse) "you liike her."

You feel something warm and fuzzy in your thoracic cavity. Suspiciously close to your aeration sacks.

(Prospit) “of cour2e ii liike her! 2he2 only my giirlfriiend. there i2 no way that iimpliie2 that ii ***enjoy her company*** or anything

(Prospit) “and by “no way” ii mean “certaiinly”. who’2 the 2mart one agaiin?

(Derse) “hey, you are better with empathy than ii am. and empathy iis a pre-req two getting along with anyone”

You take a deep breath, just to make sure that you don’t have fabric detritus impeding inhalation. Your brain gets oxygen. That is definitely something that is now in its position. The warm feeling doesn’t go away. But it does dissipate a little. Spreading out from the ends of your walk stubs to the tips of your fronds.

(Prospit) “her face! Her face! 2he2 here! wiith cheek2 and a no2e and eye2 and haiir. Iit2 her and 2he2 here "

(Prospit & Derse) “2he ii2 a friiend of my miind. 22he gather me, man. the piiece2 ii am, 2he gather them and give them back to me all in the right order”

(Prospit) “2ee, you do liike her”

(Derse) “why do we 2ay that every time 2he come2 over?”

(Prospit) “doe2n’t 2top iit from being true” 

Another yank on your hair. AA drags your head up right where it lolls on her chest. She dangles one arm on your chest, like a half assed hug. Because the other hand is ***still*** holding your head. How did you forget about that. AA is here. Her hand moves from your hair to your forehead. 

Her hand is on your ocular spheres. You feel the flesh of her hand on the slimy membrane. It’s so _nice_. 

You’re going go blind one day. She could just take them. She could take anything. Your useless trash that is going to die so much. And she is too. She is going be in pain. And you would do anything for her. But she’s doomed. She’s so doomed and you can’t help her. You can’t fix it. It’s going to happen. Useless useless useless

"We all got two diie 2ome tiime"

You blink. Or try to. Your lens coverings bump against her hand that is still on your eyes. You take a breath. Again. 

“Hi Sollux” 

“Hi AA” 

“Let’s cook some food, and then we will go outside. Because outside is an adventure” 

“But… I’m Busy. I don’t have the time to go on adventures” 

“Oh Sollux, you weren’t doing anything. And we all have the same amount of time! It’s just what you do with it! ^u^ So we are going to feed you, and then have fun. Because you can do anything you want. So you will have fun. I mandate it! `_’ ” 

So it was said, and so it was done


End file.
